


Two

by Maisie_top_trash



Series: Flower King And His Sunshine Boy [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Autism, Bulimia, Depression, Friendship, Meltdown, Nonverbal Communication, Stimming, just adorable friendship basically, mental health, nonverbal autism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 02:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12596432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maisie_top_trash/pseuds/Maisie_top_trash
Summary: Josh has autism and is nonverbal, and Tyler is his best friend.Tyler has a past littered with sadness and is determined to overcome it, and Josh is his best friend.The much requested follow up to an autism oneshot I posted a while back, the same universe but otherwise no real links so read in either order.





	Two

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - I am not a professional, nor do I have much first hand experience, so portrayal may not be accurate and I apologise for this whilst welcoming any feedback on how to improve

"Put your shoes on Josh." Dad repeated sternly for the hundredth time, but Josh wasn't listening as he rocked back and forth on the floor, hands crossed protectively over his head and arms sheltering his ears as he desperately tried to block it out, block everything out, he had to block it all out. It felt like the walls were trembling around him and the ceilings was threatening to collapse and pile down on top of him, it felt like danger was all around him, it felt like the world was imploding around him, if felt like the whole world was against him. 

"Jesus Christ Joshua, put your damn shoes on!" He exclaimed, and Josh couldn't help the shriek that escaped his lips followed by another when suddenly he could feel his dad's breath too too too close to him, then out of nowhere his foot was grabbed and Josh could feel it trying to be forced into confinement. With another screech of terror, he kicked out as hard as he possibly could and made contact with his father's torso but spooked himself in the process and hurried to scuttle backwards in search of shelter. 

"That hurt Josh, enough, enough of this silliness. It's your grandmother's birthday, everybody's waiting in the car for us, we have to go otherwise we're going to be late for the meal. You don't want to spoil Granny's birthday, do you? So, for the final time, put on the damn sneakers." 

Threats didn't help and Josh cried out, still squeezing his hands over his ears and begging hysterically for it to stop, for everything just to stop. Dad moved closer to him, setting the shoes down again and giving Josh the opportunity to quickly grab them then throw them with as much force as he could muster. The first knocked a family portrait off the wall and the second hit Dad square in the jaw. Overwhelmed with how to cope with the development, Josh screamed and sobbed simultaneously, unable to express the horrendous turmoil swirling inside. 

"That's twice now Josh, not okay. Not. Okay." He growled and Josh wept and cried and yelled at the top of his voice. No matter how much he rocked and yanked on his ears and cried, he couldn't let out all anger pulsing through his veins. When his arm brushed against his shaking mouth, his teeth latched onto the skin and bit down hard, screaming both with fury and pain. 

"Stop it, Josh, stop biting yourself Joshua. Joshua." Dad commanded but Josh didn't listen, just started biting a new part of his arm until he could almost feel his teeth breaking through and touching each other. Still he howled and rocked and felt so utterly out of control that he wanted to burst. 

"You don't get what you want by having a meltdown, you are still going to Granny's, I don't care if you hide in her basement as soon as we get there, you are going to your Granny's whether you like it or not. Now, for the love of God, stop biting yourself, put your shoes on, get in the car."

Josh screamed. He screamed, not because he hated his Granny, but because he couldn't cope with all the demands and all the pressure and all the stimuli. He screamed and he rocked and he bit, and then he threw himself onto the ground harshly and banged and stomped his feet against the carpet before smashing his head too, over and over again. 

"Mom wants to know what's taking so, oh-" Abbie walked in and started saying whilst Josh crashed his head into the floorboards again.  
"Well tell her to come and here and deal with him herself then, she knows full well that he doesn't like me, shouldn't have even asked me to try."  
"O-okay,"

"Alright Mom's coming Josh, just calm down, there's no need for this." Dad said but he couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't stop till everything else stopped. 

Every time he slammed his head against the ground, his hands slipped off his ears and he was blasted with the scarily loud sounds of his own screams. The ever-changing volume was too much to cope with and his teeth were begging to sink deep into his skin, so he tore his hands from his head and stuffed his fingers into his mouth and bit down as he collided with the ground again, which acted as a mallet against a chisel and made him cry out in pain before doing it again. 

"Josh, hey hey hey, it's just Mom, sweetheart you need to stop hurting yourself, this is a pillow, just a pillow," he heard a soft voice say then felt a soft lump slide under his head which softened the blows but did nothing to calm the rage. "I'm going to take your hands out your mouth and I'm going to hold them, but I promise I'm not going to pin you down or restrain you, I'm just going to hold your hands so you don't bite them. If you feel like you can control yourself and not hurt yourself then I'll let go." She said, and his hands were pulled away from his teeth as he sobbed between the screams and continued to bang his head. 

"You're always telling me to talk to him like an adult, but the moment I do he freaks the fuck out!"  
"Bill, now is not the time."  
"No this is fucking ridiculous!"  
"I said not now. Get him his noise cancelling headphones then go and sit with the kids and we'll talk later." Mom said and Josh screamed when the sounds of his footsteps echoed loudly against his eardrums. 

"Shhh angel, deep breaths, Dad's getting the blockers, deep breaths. You don't need to be scared, okay Josh? Mom's here and I know you're being so so brave, just try your best to take nice big breaths, Mom's got you sweetheart," she hummed softly, massaging his hands as he cried and cried because he wanted so dearly to be calm but felt so utterly out of control as his body tossed itself around angrily. 

"Here."  
"Josh, Dad's got the blockers and I'm going to put them on you and I'm going to let go of your hands so you can stim if you need to, but if you start biting again then I'm going to have to hold them again. But don't worry Josh, I'm going to stay with you for as long as this takes,"

 

 

When Josh walked into the living room, wearing his fluffy socks which felt soft and nice against his feet and made his steps silent, he went straight over to his mom. Once he was calm enough and in control enough, everyone had left him alone and gave him space to settle down, and he decided that he needed to go up to his bedroom and sit in his tent in order to do that. But after an hour of stimming and self-soothing, he was ready to go downstairs again and eager to see his mom again. 

"Oh hey poppet, didn't see you there," Mom smiled when she noticed him, putting down her magazine to focus on him. "Do you want to sit with Momma?" She offered and Josh thought about it for a minute, fiddling with his fingers then nodding. Before sitting down, he went over to the basket next to the coffee table and tugged out his navy blue weighted blanket and dragged it across the carpet, then flattened it on top of his lap in his place beside his mom on the comfy cold couch. 

"Great job on calming yourself down sweetheart, you've done amazingly and made me very proud. And I'm sorry that Dad shouted at you, I know it's scary, but I had a word with him and he's promised that he's not going to do it again, he's going to ask you nicely if he needs you to do something and he's going to be patient whilst you take your time to do it. Okay?" Her voice sounded like honey but the words were bittersweet. Josh had heard those promises a dozen times before and they never came true, so he continued to trace the bumpy stitches of a square in his blanket with the soft pad of his right index finger rather than acknowledging her. 

"Dad's not here right now, Dad's gone with Ashley and Jordan and Abbie to Granny's house for her birthday dinner. I phoned Granny whilst you were upstairs and I said that you didn't really feel confident about attending, and she told me to say that that's okay and she loves you anyway," Mom said and Josh couldn't help but to smile. "And I replied that she could tell you herself when we go and visit her tomorrow morning."

Hearing that he was going to be forced into yet another hellish position meant Josh's protesting grunts were involuntary. He loved Granny, but only when Granny visited his house and only when it was on the schedule and only when he wanted to see people. He didn't want to see people, he didn't want to go to her house full of barking dogs and scary pictures from the old days and screaming floorboards and, worst of all, the loud noisy busy highway. 

"No Josh, stop, meltdowns are not how you get what you want. I know that the meal tonight would be too much and I understand why you don't want to go, but tomorrow morning it's just you and me and Granny and Grandad, nobody else. We can go and look at Granny's flowers, or we can see whether Granny's got any soft balls of wool that she'll let you have; we're gonna show her that we love her and wish her a happy birthday. That's not something to be scared of." 

It was at times like this that Josh hated being nonverbal because he wanted to explain that he wasn't scared of Granny, he was anxious about getting upset again and knew her house was full of so many triggers. It's not that he was scared to show her he loved her, it's that he didn't want to get overwhelmed and have another meltdown and have everybody looking at him and staring at him and talking about him. He wanted to protect himself from the stimuli, but more than that, he wanted to protect himself from having to eavesdrop on another conversation about how he wasn’t doing any better. He was trying his best to do better, he just didn’t understand what everyone else meant by better. He didn’t know what they wanted from him.

He whined and squealed but the words never came, and neither did Mom's understanding. 

"You're nervous Josh, I know, but just because we're nervous doesn't mean we don't do something. I'll be there with you the whole time, and we can take your blockers just in case. This is something I really want you to do Josh, so please, will you try your best?" She asked and Josh felt anger add to the mix because he always tried his best, always always, and he didn't have much more strength left in him to use. Everything sapped him of strength, every little day to day task that everyone else seemed to float through so effortlessly felt like one battle after another and it left him so exhausted and so drained that he actually felt offended when anyone suggested otherwise.

"Are you gonna sign something for me Josh? Or should I get your iPad for you? Because I'm sorry angel but you're not stimming, and I don't know what these sounds mean." She said the words that broke his heart, and suddenly he didn't want to be near her and slid off the sofa and onto the carpet, pulling his weighted blanket with him. The blanket was supposed to keep him grounded and he pulled it over his head to block out not only the light but also his mom and the rest of the reality too, but it didn't work even partially. 

"Josh." Mom said a little sternly, and he poked one hand out annoyed and disgruntled in the sign of a T. "Tyler? No, not today Josh, it's a Friday, Tyler doesn't play on Fridays. Now come on, out from under there please, let's get your iPad and use your words to discuss th-"

She didn't finish what she was saying because Josh was fed up of not being understood, and immediately climbed up onto his feet and grabbed her by the arm then pulled her out of the room and across to the front window where Tyler's house was clearly visible and jabbed his finger against the glass three times.  
"Yes, I know Josh, Tyler's house, you want to play with Ty, I understood that bit. Did you understand the bit where I told you it's a Friday? Tyler has therapy on a Friday and afterwards he always needs some time to himself, now, let's get your ipa-" his mother continued to go on and on about things that Josh was tired of trying to communicate about, and so he grabbed the dish of keys on the window sill and threw them on the ground angrily. 

"There's no need for that young man, come on, kitchen, let's get you some chocolate milk and see..." Mom walked into the next room but Josh couldn't hear her as he didn't follow, and instead grabbed hold of the front door handle and found it to be unlocked so pulled it open and let out a little screech of delight as he sprinted towards his best friend's house and away from his rubbish boring loser house. 

"Josh! Road! Road! Careful!" He heard her shout after him, but he didn't care as his fluffy sock-surrounded feet carried him across the cold sharp asphalt whilst his hands grabbed his ears to stop them flying away, then up the familiar red brick path to Tyler's house before he finally reached the door and found it to be unlocked too. 

 

 

In theory, Tyler should have liked Fridays. Not only were they the last day of school and the start of the weekend, but he also always got to skip last period of algebra because his mom picked him up early for therapy. However, he actually hated Fridays for that exact reason. Therapy. 

He'd been a typical cliché stereotypical LA boy when he was a teenager growing up there and suffered with an eating disorder, but unlike the majority of the boys there who were so obsessed with orthorexic clean eating and dangerous workouts to get buff, Tyler was more concerned with getting skinny. For months, years even, his intake decreased and decreased till he was losing far too fast for anyone to believe, and then he discovered purging too and within a matter of weeks he was in hospital after passing out. It hadn’t been the first time he'd fainted because of his weight but it was the first time his mom had actually walked in and found him unconscious. 

Without a doubt the following months were the hardest of his life and involved a month-long hospital stint before finally making the decision to move across the country to Columbus for what his parents called a "safer" environment where he was less likely to relapse or get triggered, and eventually he managed to get weight restored with only a couple of regressions. For a year or so his weight and his mind danced back and forth as he struggled to accept the "healthy" him, but once he realised that focusing on getting to know his new neighbour Josh was far more interesting and rewarding than a number on a scale, he slowly learnt to stop caring as much. 

Thankfully his body image was much better and on those rare days when disordered eating clouded his mind, he managed to remind himself of why he needed to stay healthy, for Josh, and forced himself to eat. But those days honestly were rare, the thing that haunted him most often was depression now. A sense of regret and self hatred that not even the yellow haired autistic boy could solve. 

On the most part, his depression only hit home at night, during the long nights when his mind ignored his wishes and replayed the torture he had put his family through over and over again, but Friday afternoons were the exception. His dark thoughts were forced into the view of the sun by his therapist, Paula, and after he left the stuffy claustrophobic room, his inability to correctly breathe usually stuck with him until morning. 

Whilst most of the other seniors in his class spent Friday nights together at parties or at the very least at the mall or going out for food, Tyler spent Friday nights in his room. That Friday he was curled up in the perfect sized gap between his bookcase and his closet with a pad of paper and an HB pencil. The plan had been to write and write and write, but he was too drained, so instead the pages were filled with both angry and dawdling tornado sketches. 

He was just about to turn over the fourth page to start fresh when suddenly his door swung open and slammed against his wall and he jumped at the sound then looked up to see Josh stagger in, wearing his favourite fluffy socks and his favourite NASA shirt. 

"Josh! Hey, you scared me," Tyler panted honestly and noticed that the sound had predictably scared Josh too and he folded over to a crouching position and grabbed his own ears protectively with a panicked whimper. With a sudden burst of energy, Tyler climbed out of his hiding spot and rushed to his friend's aid, placing his hands on top of Josh's and blocking the noise out. However, it was not before he noticed the harsh bite marks on his fingers and realised that he must have had a meltdown before presumably escaping to his house as he had heard no knock on the door or doorbell. 

"Josh? Josh? Josh where are you sweetheart?" He heard Laura calling softly from downstairs but was powerless to alert her as Josh shook terrified with wide eyes whilst they worked together to hold his ears.  
"It's okay, I've got you." Tyler mouthed quietly for Josh to lip read, not knowing whether he had or not.

"Ty, have you seen- Laura, he's here." Mom walked into his room then immediately saw the pair and called to her friend.  
"Thanks Tyler," Laura entered and crouched to Josh's height, putting her hand on his arm. "Come on poppet, let's go next door and have a little chat about road safety and running away from Mom."  
"It's okay, he can stay if he wants." Tyler said, hands still covering Josh's ears.  
"Ty, if Laura says they need to have a chat then they need to have a chat." His mom intervened, and Tyler sighed and begrudgingly let go so that Laura could half encourage and half pull Josh out of the bedroom and into the study by his arm as he protested and resisted. 

"Sorry darling, he just crept in, if he had knocked then I would have taken him home." Mom said softly as she sat on Tyler's bed and he did the same.  
"It's fine,"  
"Sure? I know you like to be alone after Paula."  
"I'm fine Mom,"  
"Sweetheart," she sighed, picking up his hand and holding it in hers. "I don't like that word,"  
"Sorry," Tyler whispered. 

"You don't have to tell me what you talked about in the session, I know they're private, but how did it go?"  
"Yeah it was alright, not one of my worst, just um, just talking about the old days has got me thinking, that's all."  
"Thinking about losing weight again?" Mom asked, trying to be casual but a shaking voice giving away her fear.  
"I'm not gonna relapse Mom."  
"But even if you're not gonna do it, are you thinking about it? Wanting to do it?"  
"No, honest Mom, I'm mostly okay with how I look right now, it was just memories, ghosts, that's all."  
"Okay darling," she stroked his hair to the side sadly. 

"I'm glad you know that you look good how you are, and I'm proud of how far you've come. Don't want my son to become a ghost all over again."  
"I won't I promise, thoughts don't have to equal actions, thinking about losing doesn't mean I will."  
"Good, because you know what the nurse said at your weigh in last week, you're still right at the bottom end of healthy."  
"I know, I'm, I'm trying to creep it up a little bit further, I just keep maintaining no matter how hard I try to gain."  
"Well if there's anything I can do, anything at all, snack and meal supervision again or increasing your meal plan or locking bathrooms after you've eaten, or anything else I can do, you let me know."  
"I will."  
"Will you Ty?"  
"Yeah, I meant what I said when I told you I wanna beat this, I wanna get healthy in every sense, and have the energy and motivation and strength to focus on things that make me happy rather than weight loss."  
"Like your music?"  
"Yeah, and like Josh." Tyler couldn't help but smile to himself. 

"Do you wanna invite him to stay for dinner with us?" Mom smiled too.  
"Not tonight, he needs time to prepare for stuff and he won't like the sudden changes. Plus, he eats at 5 so he'll already have had his dinner tonight. Maybe tomorrow if that's okay with you?"  
"Yeah course, that gives me time to go across to his house and get his plate and cutlery and waffles from Laura."  
"And the sausages, don't forget the sausages,"  
"How could I?" She laughed but Tyler didn't have the opportunity to reply because Josh and Laura walked back in and he could immediately tell that his best friend was upset and panicking. 

"Tyler, would it be okay with you if Josh had a 5 minute play date before we go home?"  
"5 minutes? Do you wanna stay longer J?" Tyler asked, and Josh nodded whilst his hands flapped and high pitch whimpers accompanied each unsteady heaving breath. "How long can he stay Mrs Dun? Because I'm more than happy to play for as much time as he has before it’s time for bed."  
"Hmm, are you sure?"  
"I'm sure,"  
"Josh, you want to have a long play with Tyler?" She asked her son who immediately went over to Tyler's bed and curled up under the covers. "Alright darling, well I'll come and pick you up just before bedtime, 2 hours from now, round about 8.30, does that sound okay Ty?"  
"Yeh, thank you Mrs Dun." He nodded. 

"Do you want to stay for coffee?" Mom offered.  
"That'll be nice, thank you. Josh, be good." She said to her son but rather than his usual giggle of agreement, he let out a frustrated grunt that didn't sit right with Tyler. "Bye boys,"  
"Bye," Tyler replied and shut his door behind the two mothers then went straight to his bed and climbed under the covers next to his unsettled best friend. 

"Bad day?" He asked and Josh responded by thrusting both his hands forwards and beginning his familiar routine of stroking the entirety of Tyler's face with his fingertips. Although the touch was still soft and gentle, it upset Tyler to see the turmoil on Josh's face as he explored his. His expression went from anger to hurt to annoyance every single second and Tyler knew he had hit the nail on the head, he just didn't know exactly what had made his day so bad. With Josh it could be anything from a scratchy label to a massive fight with one of his siblings. And by fight Tyler meant that someone, most likely Jordan, had probably got annoyed at one of Josh's stims and then his lack of understanding as to why he had to stop when told, which inevitably lead to Josh getting screamed at for something he didn't mean to upset anyone with. 

"What happened to your fingers Josh?" Tyler asked when he finally finished absorbing his facial features through them. He knew full well what had happened, but he wasn't sure why and hoped Josh could spread some light on what had caused the meltdown that was either fairly recently or pretty severe, judging by the harsh indents still along his middle digits. 

Rather than answering, Josh put his hand on Tyler's left shoulder then danced his fingers down the arm until he reached his hand, picking it up and twisting it so Tyler could see what he was referring too. The permanent markings of a bulimic scraping his knuckles on his teeth every time he tried to make himself look more beautiful.  
"My scars? They're old, your marks are new." He tried to convince his friend, but he let out another frustrated squeak that made Tyler miss his usual happy humming. "What do you want me to say Josh?" 

For whatever reason, that seemed to push him over the edge. Tyler had to shuffle back a little bit on the mattress as Josh let out a string of angry flaps and sounds, trying both to vent out and communicate his emotions. Although Tyler still wasn't sure what exactly the unfamiliar stims meant, he knew that Josh was unhappy and his mind raced as he tried to think of ways to rectify that. Meanwhile, Josh climbed out of the bed and grabbed his hair tightly and paced the floorboards twice before sitting down on the floor in the corner and hugging his knees to his chest. Tyler gave him a moment of privacy then fished around in his bedside drawer to find something he thought might help. 

"Look, you left this here the other day and I forgot to give it to you." Tyler said, holding a chewy necklace by the string and dangling it in front of Josh before he quickly snatched it then sniffed the blue donut shaped chewable pendant. "I washed it, that's why it might smell a bit funny. It was on the floor and got a bit dusty so I gave it a quick rinse, but don't worry I only used water, no nasty soap, it's okay." He reassured him but hadn't finished his sentence before the ring found its way between Josh's left molars. As he bore down on the plastic, Tyler stepped over to where he had abandoned his notepad and pencil, then went back to Josh and sat next to him. However, he had barely taken his weight off his feet before Josh suddenly slapped the paper away which landed a few centimetres away from the end of Tyler's legs, then he snatched the pencil from his hand and let out a small shrilly scream as he managed to snap it in half with two hands then also toss it away, shocking Tyler. 

"Oh," was all he could manage before Josh let out another angry scream, thrusting out his longer legs and kicking the pad further and further away angrily. A lightbulb went off for Tyler and the dots connected. 

"Josh, I wasn't going to make you write." He said truthfully and his friend instantly stopped kicking. "I wasn't going to get you to write it out, I was gonna show you my doodles of tornadoes and see whether you wanted to have a go, or draw something of your own." Tyler continued, then leant forwards and managed to reach the slightly crumpled sheets of paper, then gave them to Josh to look at.

"I wouldn't ever force you to write, okay? Is that why you're upset, because people want to communicate in different ways to you?" Tyler asked and Josh didn't respond. Fair enough. "I won't pretend to know what it's like being you, however I can imagine it being both upsetting and discouraging when people don't understand what you're showing with your stims. We speak different languages you and me, and you're smart enough to understand what I'm saying, I'm sure of it, and it must be annoying that I can't always understand what you're saying. But I want you to know Josh that I'm not trying to annoy you, I wish I was fluent so that you would never have to attempt to translate. Because that's what your life is, right? It's having your own ways to respond to things which are natural and are right, but constantly having to try to remember how other people would respond and trying to do that instead. And that must suck."

Josh started bouncing his leg and humming slightly. Happy stims.

"I'm trying to learn Josh, I am trying, but I'm sorry for all the times I do it wrong and all the times it's up to you to pave the gap between us. And today, today I was asking a lot of questions because I didn't recognise your stims as I don't see those ones very often, and Josh I think that's a good thing because they're upset stims and I think it says a lot about you that I know your happy stims better than I know myself, but I barely know the others at all." Tyler said and the humming got braver and Tyler's smile grew bigger; he definitely knew what that meant.

"I'm really grateful and feel really blessed that you put so much effort into making this friendship work, and I feel lucky to have a best friend like you who works so hard to help me understand. I know it's difficult to remember how to translate everything, I know it's difficult, I know how hard you try and honestly I feel like I'm not even worth it-" Tyler was cut off by Josh suddenly sticking his fingers in Tyler's mouth. It was hardly the most pleasant of feelings, having 4 fingers suddenly rammed into his tongue, but Tyler appreciated the gesture. Josh didn't want him to say that kind of thing about himself. 

"Thanks Josh," Tyler smiled as he pulled his hand back, then began wiping it on the carpet. He clearly liked the feel because he didn't stop even when Tyler could tell his fingers were dry.

"So, what I'm trying to say is that if you ever get tired or you've had enough of trying to fit in with the rest of society and how we talk and act and communicate, I don't mind if you come over here and just be you, okay? It's okay to take breaks and care for yourself and put yourself first, and express yourself how you want to express yourself. No matter what people might say or think, you do you, yeah? You shouldn't let anyone else's judgements or expectations impact how you live your life, because at the end of the day it's your life." Tyler told him and he seemed to be listening as his fingers swished back and forth and his leg bounced up and down and his hums scattered all over the place. The younger wasn’t inventive or creative enough to come up with his own original way of showing he was happy too, he just smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this sat in my "not finished" folder for months, despite it being finished the day after I posted the last one. however I suddenly got really really anxious about offending anyone or being disrespectful, and had a panic attack when it came to posting. however I've been rereading all the lovely comments on the first post in the series and basically I've decided to bite the bullet and post.  
> I am sorry if this isn't accurate
> 
> all my love, and any requests for this universe? xx


End file.
